The Transfiguration

everything is sacred

Archive for the ‘food’ Category

Shield of the Day #2620

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Jeff has one of those invincible old-fashioned mixing machines in his kitchen – the sort designed in the 50’s, built to survive the apocalypse. It made mixing our cookie dough more simple than I’ve ever known it to be; I’ve been making cookies with recipe since I was three or four years old, and it always took a long bout of wrestling with a bowl and wooden spoon to beat the dough into a smooth solution. The mechanical muscle of this thing gets the job done in just a few seconds. It felt a bit like cheating, but our delicious Charlie cookie came out just as well as we could have hoped for, so there’s no saying that machine-mixed cookies lack heart.

The mixer can be a little messy, though, so as the leaf-shaped beater spun around the bowl, Laurel and Jeff shielded the dough with their hands. Any stray bits fell to the ground, where Moose licked them up.

Afterwards we worked together with Jeff’s brother and Kristina to defuse bombs, and despite a few errant detonations we come out more or less triumphant.

It’s been a good night and we are up way too late, but this week is ours and we can enjoy it as we like.

chuck rock

Written by Umbrella Man

November 25, 2015 at 1:45 am

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Pumpkins of the Day #2590

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Pumpkins of the Day #2590

Rachel, Sam and Ruth came by for games tonight, and while they were here we pushed as much Halloween candy onto them as we could. These candy pumpkins are a rarer relative of candy corn, though I think they have a similar flavor and the same waxy texture.

Laurel and I watched an Internet Video of two people eating one of those five-pound gummi bears, and their final decision was that, though it still tasted good, it was just way too intense at that scale. I imagine that a pumpkin-sized candy pumpkin would be much the same – just an impossible mass of corn starch and sugar, and if it didn’t collapse to begin with it would probably cause liver failure or something similarly awful if you dared to take a hearty bite of it. Better for these candies to stay tiny, even if they’re not quite botanically accurate.

We’re starting to get pretty good at hosting friends here, which bodes well for our time in this new home.

my playground love

Written by Umbrella Man

October 25, 2015 at 10:54 pm

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Spirit of the Day #2587

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Spirit of the Day #2587

We put food in the freezer because in sub-zero temperatures, microbial proteins don’t work very well; they’re sluggish, toothless, so if they manage to survive at all they won’t get to eat our food before we do.

Frozen food will still get restless, though. Left in the cold for long enough, the spirits of your green beans will give up on their mortal coil and try to escape, seeping out through stomata or whatever other portals they can find. When they leave, however, the harshness of the freezer greets them in full force, and there they are trapped forever – crystalline fields frozen to the surface of your neglected vegetables.

We do our best to eat our vegetables before their souls escape, but sometimes time does elude us. At least those crystal veins make for a lovely spectacle to careful observers.

triology

Written by Umbrella Man

October 23, 2015 at 12:07 am

Posted in food, small things

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Battlecry of the Day #2573

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Battlecry of the Day #2573

The bananas at work are all predisposed toward anarchy; leave one alone for a moment and it will brew up some sort of propaganda as soon as it starts to ripen. Mine are not the only ones to do this, but I haven’t seen any of the others in person. It seems appropriate to catalogue them as they appear, to give a fair representation of this nearly-invisible war, so the history books can tell an honest story a few decades from now.

peculiar bonus

Written by Umbrella Man

October 8, 2015 at 11:43 pm

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Bite of the Day #2562

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Bite of the Day #2562

Anton starts his new job in a few days, and part of the transition to this new chapter for him is a new apartment – the first home that he has to himself. Mitch and I helped him pack some things into his parents’ minivan (his mother provided fresh apple cake), his whole family came out to send him off, and we drove across the city to see what would become his new home.

As we took turns carrying furniture up the four flights of stairs, we could hear the sound of some unfamiliar stringed instrument – a guzheng, perhaps? – drifting over a neighbor’s fence. That on its own made it seem like a lovely place to live, a neighborhood full of color.

We finished, finally, and some rather fantastical pizza arrived to congratulate us. I can’t quite appreciate the flavor of mushrooms but they did fit a remarkable variety on one pie, and the other was so intensely flavorful – gorgonzola, roasted pear, unnamable greens and spices. Each slice almost collapsed under the weight of the toppings, so we had to take big bites to start each one off.

I think Anton will like it here.

spring river flower moon night

Written by Umbrella Man

September 27, 2015 at 11:21 pm

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Revolutionary of the Day #2560

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Revolutionary of the Day #2560

I stepped away from my desk sometime yesterday and returned to find that my banana had joined the rebel forces. Tattooed with a cry for freedom, it meant to fight alongside so many others for the good of the people.

This rebellion has been quelled, but I had to at least take one last photo for the history books before I ate this soldier for breakfast.

forest of illusion

Written by Umbrella Man

September 26, 2015 at 1:31 am

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Chop of the Day #2477

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Chop of the Day #2477

Mitch proved his mettle again today, carrying on the tradition of splitting a watermelon with a single top for this year’s Slaughtermelon. He performed in front of a bigger audience today, and with a total of five watermelons prepared for the slaughter, a lot of new people got to take a swing at it.

I made an attempt as well – my first time in these three years of the tradition. I managed to split the fruit in three swings, and might not have been able to manage a fourth if the watermelon hadn’t finally given in. Tonight I carry a small scar on my forearm from the encounter, and my hand still aches a bit from the first swing, but so much the better; I have come away with physical proof of the challenge I met.

The fifth and final watermelon was the toughest we’ve seen yet; hardened in the freezer, it took Mitch four chops to break open, parrying his attacks in the greatest battle I’ve ever witnessed between man and melon.

The chopped fruit was eaten or drunk as the party went on. A few apples met a brutal fate today, as well, but we’ve yet to see anyone attempt this with a durian.

squid lobby

Written by Umbrella Man

July 5, 2015 at 1:40 am

Posted in food, friends, holidays, people

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